The Only Way I Manage to Get Stage Time: Karaoke

I was inside an office complex and decided to attend a karaoke night at the Irish pub located there. In the USA I don't usually do karaoke and prefer to do open mics, however there is a total shortage of open-mic nights in Warsaw, and I can't seem to find one that is active. The easy solution is to sing some karaoke. I usually sing the same song, Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers. This song has some very whimsical lyrics including; first born unicorn and many more. It's too bad that this city doesn't offer more options for the amateur actor/performer to hone their skills. This lack of performance venues is one of the things I miss the most about living in the city. Eventually I'll get the courage up to ask a club owner if they wouldn't mind letting me perform in their club on an off-night. It might be difficult as I don't really enjoy performing in Polish, because when I do that I come off as either psychologically challanged, or confused. I shine in the English language and can't imagine having a serious career in Poland, as most work requires one to have a pristine Polish accent, with no hint of foreignness. I'll just keep at it while I can, and someday soon crowds may line up to hear my version of Californication.

My Comedy Journey (extracted from a PDF)

Video Experiments
When I was 9 years old I had access to
my first camcorder. It was a RCA VHS
camcorder built in 1989/1990. I spent
some time learning the basics and was
soon creating short films with my
brother Jacek. Me and Jacek would
recreate movies from our pop-culture
upbrining including our first film with a
semblance of narrative, a play on Bruce
Lee’s bad lyp syncing. That was when I
was 9 years old. My dad Mac would
later “accidently” erase the tape of me
and my brothers first video project, and
most likely several projects after that.
Theatre Performance
I was just twelve years old when I was
cast for the role of Leroy Herdman in
“The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” at
the Performing Arts Center in MIlwaukee
(Currently named the Milwaukee
Center for the Performing Arts). I was
inspired by Jon Layton to persue a
career in performance. Layton later
cast me in two productions all without
having to audition. I would go on to
appear in 4 theatre productions before
finishing highschool.
Stand-Up Please
Although I enjoyed performing in
theatres; I was bothered that I couldn’t
really express myself in this way. I had
things to say (at 16) and was interested
in pursuing alternative venues. In the
fall of 1997 my brother Jacek spotted
an ad in the Milwaukee Journal looking
for “Comedians.” I responded and was
soon performing in front of an
audience in Grafton,WI. It was the first
time I was in a bar without a parent or
gaurdian present. The man who ran the
show was named David.David would
later attend a comedy class with me
taught by Roz Turner.I enjoyed the
adult atmosphere but was releuctant to
stick to my rudimentary act. I finished
one of my performances with an
attempt at improvisation, and failed–I
hated the performance so much I would
avoid appearing alone on stage until
about 2 years later as a student at
UWM.
College or Not?
After taking an 8 hour HSED test I
passed highschool and began planning
for my college studies. I took the ACT
and scored a 22 composite. This was
reasonable considering I had not
learned anything during the last two
years of highschool. I took my [ACT]
score to UW-Milwaukee admissions and
registered to attend the film program. I
attended classes, but soon lost
interest–mostly from an innability to
handle the workload of 15 credit
semesters. I begain hanging out at the
student cafe. It was called the 8th note
and (at that time) was featured as a
smoky haven for everyone on campus
addicted to nicotine.
Don’t Waste the Stage
Feeling highly “intellectual” in the
atmosphere of University I began to
pester the students working at the 8th
note about the lack of performances on
the tiny stage. I managed to gain
permission from one of the students to
do a short 5 minute performance.
Having nothing prepared and no idea
what I should talk about I started
talking about a world made out of
cheese and switched to a tangent about
running. Althoug the performance
basically sucked it motivated me, and
sparked an interest in “raw improv.”
Although I had performed improv in
highschool, this performance had a
differant style to it. While performing I
made friends with a coffee shop
patron/student Robert Rudnick. We
would have countless discussions about
performance, film, and general culture
until losing contact somtime around
2002. College was not for me [at the
time] and so I dropped out after a
single semester.
The Couch and Other Coffee Shops
I would perform in nearly 70 performances
between 2000 and 2005.
These appearances would last
anywhere from 3 minutes to 45
minutes and would most often be
unpaid. I was sometimes reimbursed
for my gas money. I was so excited by
the prospect of living the renegade
performer lifestyle I took little care for
my monetary success. It wouldn’t be
until I turned 23 that I would return to
College, as a student at the MIlwaukee
insitute of Art & Design.

Audition Week

I am having a great week auditioning. I have managed to score three auditions this week. The first one was for a commercial for the bank BPH. They were looking for smart/business people so I showed up in a sweater and made an ass of myself. Needless to say, no one called be back for a chance to appear in the ad. The next audition was for the Szymon Majewski Show. Both of the auditions took place in the same building, at a company called "[...]One". I didn't think I would make any headway in either of the auditions, however on Tuesday I managed to get a call-back audition for the Szymon Majewski Show. I went to the headquarters of the production company in charge of the show. There I ran into a man named Piotr, who was the first one to show up. Eventually a 7 people showed up for the call-back. We calculated that about 90 people were in the first audition, so some of us took that as a sort of small victory. A few people voiced the opinion, "At least were better than the 93 people who didn't get call backs." However I wasn't so happy about it. The fact that only 90 people showed up made me realize that the casting process was far from over. When I checked out the web site, I was a bit distraught to discover that they are asking for submissions for talent all the way up to the end of February. The audition involved some screen tests taken in a small conference room, and some "on the street" interviews in the mall below the office. I didn't think that my performance in either segment was anywhere near my abilities, however I haven't really figured out the language (Polish) yet, and feel I may never reach the same proficiency in it that I have in English. At the end, the last thing anyone said to me at the company was something quite lame, "Um, how do they say... I'll call you!" I felt a bit like puking at that moment, as that is just about the lamest statement to make to someone. I am excited however, because there is always another audition to conquer, on Saturday I am due to "try-out" for a dating show.